Improvement

            So, I did my drawing practice for the day. I’m not terribly happy, but not terribly happy either. It’s not as clean as I’d like, not quite as good as I’d like, but still, overall, not terrible. I did some simple head studies tonight. I took my time, I didn’t rush, I used real pictures for inspiration. What I was going to attempt was to redraw something I’d done a while ago, but instead, once I’d finished the head, I decided just to draw more head since I could think of or find a good pose to finish the piece. I ended up taking about two hours to draw these three heads.

From top to bottom, Erydon Breilith, Finna Andriss, Jacobar Greystone

            As you can see, not bad. Also not great. I used Gerard Butler to help me with Erydon, Zooey Deschanel for Finna, and Carlo Rota for Jacobar. Jacobar I am the least happy with. I don’t know why, but he’s still not quite right. There’s something missing. I don’t know what it is, but I’ll probably keep working on it. Once I get people down, I plan to start drawing some of the more inhuman characters such as Onyx and Saine. With luck, here within a month or so, I might be able to start doing commissions, like my wife does on Deviant Art. That’s sort of the goal. I wish I did color, but I just don’t. I’m a pencil sketcher. I like drawing with pencil. I’ve tried drawing with a Wacom tablet, and I just don’t like it. More power to you if you can, but it’s not for me. There’s something about it I just don’t like. I suppose it could be that I don’t have the right program to use it, I suppose it could be that even with the right program it might not have the same tactile feeling, the same sense of joy.

            And there is joy in what I do.

            The past few nights, drawing and working on stuff has, without question, improved my mood and my mental status. I still don’t want to leave the house, and I still get stressed, but overall, I’m happier and doing more. I don’t feel as down, or tired, or hungry or sick like I do when I’m really down. If creating is my anti-depressant, I think I might be happy again.

            Don’t get me wrong, I know I still need help, and I know this might not last forever.

            Still, I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts, and hope for the best. Don’t expect me to hope for the best terribly often, but drawing again has really cheered me up. At least two hours a day seems easy now that I’ve done it two days in a row. And putting up more blogs makes me happy too. It makes me feel more creative, gets my brain pumping in the proper direction. I think of stories and ideas rather than how much I suck or how miserable I am.

            It doesn’t hurt that I’ve made a great deal of progress on the house and might be able to maintain it for a while, either.

            So, I think what I am going to do is see if I can crank out a story, even if it’s a short one, and a picture every day (or at least Monday through Friday) and update the blog and maybe, after a while, I might even start doing comics again. They take a while, but they were so rewarding and satisfying that, I really want to do them again.

            If I can think of something to do.

            Anyway, thanks again for the support. It’s nice to know people care and enjoy this stuff. It makes it even more worthwhile. So, for now…

            Later days.

Practice

            I don’t know why, but for the past few days I’ve been in a decent enough mood long enough to do stuff. This is the third day in a row I’m putting up a new blog. It seems the more I do, the happier I am. Getting into a story I’m writing or drawing something and really taking the time to do it right, or be patient with it, and letting myself go feels good.

            Getting to that point is not easy.

It can be made much more difficult by very small things.

            For example, today a good friend invited me out. I had to sadly decline because I have no vehicle of my own. It got me down pretty hard. It’s  certainly no one’s fault but my own I’m like this, but again, it can be the simplest little thing that makes it next to impossible to get to work anything I wanted to do. So I sat, I ate a bit of breakfast and woke up. My wife went to work and I decided it was finally time to clean the kitchen. I put Bones on the TV for background noise and entertainment, and I got to work. Things went very well and I started feeling better as the kitchen started looking better and better. Some things needed to dry, so I sat down to draw. I drew for almost three hours.

            This makes me very happy.

            Now, I’m not super satisfied with what I drew, but I’m also not upset about it either. Some of it I quite like (for the moment) and I know that this is practice.

            Oh, that’s right. I’ve decided to do a practice every day if I am able.

            See, I used to love to draw. I drew all the time. I wanted to make my own comic books. I’m really glad that I didn’t, cause I started doing it in the 90’s and I’ve since learned a lot about things like character development, plot, and that Rob Liefeld can’t draw and isn’t someone I should emulate. My comics back then did have SOME good ideas (thanks to James and Joel. I still miss Gelatinous Cube Comics), but they would have been 90’s comics. The really good ones that you can still pick up and enjoy and read are few and far between. It wasn’t exactly the golden age.

            Anyway, I still like to draw, when I actually get to it. I put on music, sit down, figure out what I’m gonna doodle and I just sort of lose myself in the whole process. Tonight, I didn’t even realize I’d been drawing for 3 hours. It felt like ten minutes. So it was very very good. I also think my new process is going to work out well. My practice is to find a picture I like (I’m going to start with friends) and I draw the same picture three different times. The first is supposed to be realistic, like a portrait. Keep in mind, this is all in pencil. I don’t do color. So I get my paper stomp and a couple of drawing pencils and I go to work. Here’s how the first one turned out.

Look! It's a face!

            Now, this isn’t the best picture in the world. There are people who could do better in less time. That’s fine. I’m still finding my style, still getting back into it. For what it is, I’m quite pleased with it. I think it looks like the person it is. I chose this guy because, honestly, he’s the guy that inspired me to draw in the first place. If it wasn’t for him, I might be an accountant or something.

            Okay, probably never that, but this guy really did spark my imagination. So I thought he’d be a great first practice subject.

            Anyway, the second pic is practice for my cartoon style, like what you’d see if I were drawing a webcomic. These are quick and clean and I like them. I use blue pencil and then ink with a regular pen and a sharpie. It’s not much, but it’s a style I’ve come to enjoy. I borrow from different sources, but it is something I like. Now this one didn’t turn out quite as good as I’d have liked, but I still think it’s okay. I mean, come on, it’s a freaking cartoon.

I SUPER SUCK at drawing crossed arms. Hence the practicing.

I love his smile in the actual picture, but it was hard to duplicate properly in my comic style. If I took some time to doodle things out, he might  change and look better, but as it is, this was meant to be draw what I see, not plan and change and experiment. I just wanted a good clean cartoon sketch. Again, it’s not the best, but I kind of like out it turned out.

            So, lastly, since I always wanted to be a comic book artist, I decided my third practice would be to draw it like a super hero/actual comic book. I haven’t done this in a LONG time. My biggest influence is Jim Lee. I remember spending hours recreating his Rogue drawing, or Cyclops, or Professor Xavier. Eventually, I’d like to say I got pretty good. I’d like to say, but I don’t think I was ever great. Passable at best, bland and forgettable at worst. Still, I hadn’t found my OWN style. I just tried to copy someone else’s. So here, we have my attempt at getting back into that style with my own flair. Here is the result.

Super Dave! Wait...

            So, for the first night, I’m not that disappointed. I know I’m WAY out of practice, and sadly, drawing isn’t like riding a bike. I’ve got other styles I want to explore, Disney-esque being on that list. I’ve some friends who have a distinct style I enjoy, and I may try my hand at that as well. Still, I am working on stuff. I have NO idea how long I can keep this up. I have no idea how long the mood might last. It comes and goes in waves. I could break down and cry later tonight for no good reason, or get mad that Winamp’s shuffle isn’t playing the song I want to hear and I’m too lazy to find it with search.

My mood is, shall we say, flighty at best.

Still, I’ve kept a promise I made to myself, and I hope to keep that promise going.

It’s a start.

A good start.

Later days.